The Co-Mindfulness Project: Interview at The Wild Health Summit
1. Tricia and Doro, this past year you’ve been developing a program called The Co-Mindfulness Project to help people cultivate more love and compassion in their relationships. Let’s start out with the basics of what is co-mindfulness - and why you think that co-mindfulness could quite possibly be the biggest defense against the virus for each of us?
A. Mindfulness, at its core, or how we see it, is when you slow down your reaction time and become more attuned to what is happening in this moment so you can make good choices.
B. Co-mindfulness is when you practice being mindful with other people. It is when you are not on a pillow, not having your zen moment,
But it is when you are practicing this poised, calm, accepting and choiceful way of being, while you are in stressful situations, or with people who are pushing your buttons or, maybe with people that you love in your life, and often times they can be the same people!
C. The reason we think that co mindfulness is so critical now during this pandemic is that co-mindfulness deeply supports energetic wellbeing at a fundamental level. Studies have shown that our health IS actually our representation of our well being.
This is why everybody is making such a big deal out of mind body health in the world today.
Our health is actually a holistic system. Even though we are not used to thinking of it this way, our mental and emotional outlook and moods are critical to our immunity toward viruses.
It is easier at times to just think you can take Vitamin D3 or Vitamin C, but the fascinating reality is that if your relationships in your daily life are running you down ..into the ground... even vitamins might not help.
I guess the question is: HOW exactly do we better our relationships - especially now? We think this is where we all fall short with our bag of tricks and tools.
So we created the ten co-mindfulness principles which are easy to learn and to incorporate into your daily life.
What is really interesting about this new way of seeing our health is that our co-mindfulness tools are based on an 80 year, ongoing Harvard Study, which has discovered that our close relationships, more than a-n-y-thing else in this world, is what keeps us healthy and happy!
Just how powerful are our relationships?
A person’s level of satisfaction with their relationship at age 50 is a better predictor of their physical health at 80 years of age then their cholesterol levels are.
Loneliness, it turns out, is as bad for our health as smoking and alcoholism. While Obesity reduces longevity by 20%, drinking by 30%, and smoking by 50%, loneliness reduces it by 70%.
So, how can we use this unique time, to actually become healthier… when our personal relationships are going through a tremendous amount of new stressors as we move through uncertainty and confined living conditions.
It’s crazy, but both Doro and I have adult children home with us, they are sleeping in their old childhood bedrooms...pulling out their old nintendo games...none of us are used to this.
People are looking for tools to bring joy into our relationships. And we are excited to show people how to do this through co-mindfulness.
To give you an idea, the principles include things like, DEEP LISTENING... How can we really tune into what someone is saying or not saying by observing their body language? Ironically, the words people use are only 35% of what they are communicating - the other whopping 65% is non-verbal communication.
Another example is - LEADING WITH CURIOSITY - especially at times when we do not know whether this is a blessing in disguise or a turn for the worse - staying curious reduces the stress on our body because we are not trying to pretend that we know how this will turn out - but, rather, we are living in the present moment knowing that it could take any turn - and that includes positive possibilities.
GETTING RID OF EXPECTATIONS is another one of the principles. It talks about the idea that it can be stressful to your nervous system when you try to control or hold tight to expectations you have for other people. When you stop projecting your opinions on others and let go of that - it is out of your control - you get to be freed up to relax more and be in your own space, working on yourself. Everybody really just wants love. They don’t want you to fix them.
So you get the idea...
We teach these ten principles step-by-step to companies that want to take mindfulness and cooperation to the next level - and we also will have an online program for individuals to bring joy into their relationships in the very near future.
So we can see that in this recipe of MIND BODY health what we often forget about, is the stressors that run down our bodies most - that put us in a defensive situation, and those are the relationships around us -- and that is why we think our work is SO important right now.
2. Why is the mindfulness craze so big right now and why is this a GOOD thing especially during this time?
Look, a lot of us are feeling run down.
So much is possible in the world - that you feel like you want to do everything all at once, all the time.
This constant “on” leaves us without spaces, pauses, and moments for us to consider where we are going and what we are doing, and most importantly...how we are being.
Mindfulness in a sense is a key to our evolution.
Because, when we are not mindful, we are on autopilot, sleep walking and making choices we are not even sure logically why we are making.
Oddly, a massive 95% of decisions we make are made by our subconscious mind, and this subconscious mind was formed when we were children and is reinforced through repetitive actions.
So when you are not mindful, you are essentially confining yourself and the possibilities for your life to these stale and confining patterns.
When your conscious mind steps in, then you have a whole breath of new possibilities of where you want to take yourself in any given moment.
This is liberating, empowering and calming.
As you know at Wild Health - meditation and mindfulness can actually add longevity to your life by lengthening telomeres.
Meditation is a state where our nervous system is given a recess - a rest, a true rest. This builds a lot of resilience into your body.
So as our lives become more and more hectic, this is truly the antidote. And in a world of change, we know this is the path to creating your best life. And it is available to each of us at any time, anywhere.
3. I know your company BB&R is offering guided meditations for the community as we navigate the world we are living in now. In particular you share loving kindness meditations. What exactly is a loving kindness meditation?
Loving kindness meditation is where you walk through an experience with images, words, and sometimes music to relax your inner world and strengthen feelings of kindness and connection toward others. It increases your capacity for forgiveness and self-acceptance.
This type of meditation is actually known to be one of the most powerful ways for your heart and brain to sync into coherence. Meditating - in particular - on love and kindness - leads to a sharp increase in brain gamma-waves, a significant decrease in inflammation, and a significant increase in immune system response.
Loving kindness meditation is a practice to nurture love with ourselves and others. Oftentimes people have a hard time on either side of this . . .it is important for us now to have self-compassion and compassion for our families because none of us have ever gone through anything like this before! This is a time that we need to be gentle and understanding with ourselves. Because as we teach - if you can create a well of loving kindness in yourself, you are more able to help others around you.
As a response to the virus, we have decided to gather everyone on Sunday nights, to share in guided meditation. To sign up for that you can go to comindfulness.io, and we will send you the call information - it is free for our community and invite all of you to join us too.