A Time for Deep Listening

Co-Mindfulness Principle #1 – GIVING OUR FULL ATTENTION

Mindfulness is about bringing our full attention to the present moment, a practice we can also do with the people in our lives. Giving our full attention begins with allowing the other person to speak first and deeply listening to what they have to say. It involves paying close attention to everything the person’s not telling us, their body language and tone of voice, to forge a deeper understanding and intimacy. Giving someone our full attention is how we express our love for them.

There is no shortage of emotions to describe how I’m feeling about the tragic killing of George Floyd. If you’re like me, heartbreak, confusion, and anger are some that come to mind. Heartbreak that this man’s life was unjustifiably taken from him and his family. Confused why a policeman with 18 complaints filed against him was still working, and how three other law enforcement officers chose not to intervene as George Floyd screamed that he could not breath and pleaded for his mother. Angry that like the recent deaths of Ahmaud Arbery, Eric Garner, Michael Brown and Trayvon Martin, George Floyd’s death was not an isolated incident. Instead it’s one of many tragic examples underscoring a heartbreaking pattern of mistreatment of the Black community that dates back to our country’s original sin of slavery. 

But I’m not here to talk about my feelings. As a white person, I cannot begin to comprehend the pain people of color – particularly Black Americans – are feeling right now. One of the most valuable things I’ve heard over the last week is that now is the time for listening, deep listening.  While the anguish Black Americans are feeling right now is beyond anything I can understand, that isn’t going to stop me from trying. From listening to their perspective on last week’s events. From empathizing. From offering my support.  

Doing so will educate me and help make me a better person. One who will be better equipped to work with people from all backgrounds to fix those elements of our country that are still rife with systemic racism – particularly the criminal justice system. A system in which you are 5 times more likely to go to prison if you are Black. A system that too often fails to stop unarmed Black people from dying for no justifiable reasons.

George Floyd’s six-year-old daughter Gianna remarked yesterday “Dad changed the world.” It is incumbent on all of us to ensure this change leads to meaningful and sustainable solutions. 

That starts with the first principle of Co-Mindfulness, deep listening.