Ep. 57: David Feherty - How Humor, Honesty and Kindness Can Heal Addiction - Golfer and TV Show Host
David Feherty is a former professional golfer on the European Tour and PGA Tour. He now works as a writer and broadcaster hosting his own show called Feherty on NBC’s Golf Channel.
In this podcast Feherty talks about how he walked out of a high school lecture on rain when he was 17 to become a professional golfer.
He also talks about alcoholism in his family and how that lead to his own encounter with the permanent condition where he some days drank two bottles of whiskey and downed 20 Vicodin. He believes, speaking frankly about his bipolar condition and recovery has been healing for many people. That, and David’s never-ending sense of humor is truly healing.
David talks about the missing ingredient in the world today - kindness and the power of coming from a place of non-judgement.
More From David Feherty
Website: www.feherty.com and www.troopsfirstfoundation.org
Podcast: http://www.feherty.com/podcasts
Twitter @Fehertwit
Facebook @FehertyShow
Instagram: @golfchannel
YouTube: Feherty
Wikipedia: David Feherty
Book Mentioned in the Podcast
Thomas Jefferson: The Art of Power by Jon Meacham
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Show Notes
[1:26] I was a hopelessly attention deficit child. And the only things that I could do were the things that interested me. And those were English and music.
[04:43] Successful people, they want to be in a place where they know they're going to be uncomfortable.
[07:45] My father was you know, he was an alcoholic. You know, I would warn my children. I think it's very important for any addict or alcoholic to make their children aware that they're predisposed to this. They're more likely to fall into that same way of life. When I look back at my family's history, whenever I was diagnosed with a mental illness, I discovered that it was pretty rife in my family, my grandfather, my uncles, you know, my father. You know, there's a history of depression and addiction right there.
[08:16] It's therapeutic to me, the feeling that, you know, if I say something about it or if I mention these problems, that it might help someone else. And that's helpful to me. It's comforting to me to be able to do that.
[08:36] I read that you at one point were drinking two and a half bottles of whiskey and taking 20 Vicodin a day. How did you function?
[10:21] I was at the depths of depression and drinking very heavily and taking all kinds of painkillers and other drugs. Just anything to get out of the place that I felt I was. I was just an incredibly dark, cold, damp hole.
[12:22] I really struggled with that difficulty thinking about one thing at a time. My mind is always sort of jumping around. I deal with it with chemicals. It's a chemical imbalance. The drug Adderall, which they used to treat attention deficit disorder, might be the most important one that I take for me because I'm able to focus my attention on one thing.
[12:49] I have tremendous difficulty sleeping. I sleep maybe three or four hours.
[15:04] Because as soon as you have a drink, one is too many and 30 isn't enough. That's the nature of addiction.
[15:25] That's the essence of the problem. You know, if you have that addictive personality and you get hooked, you stay hooked. It's as simple as that.
[19:05]That's the nature of bipolar disorder. You've got terrific mood swings, which is one of the reasons that the mood stabilizer is such an important drug.
[20:01] Learning to live with your mental illness as opposed to suffering from it.
[20:39] Comedy is tragedy plus timing.
[20:48] I grew up in an urban warfare environment in Northern Ireland. The people in Northern Ireland are particularly funny. And I think it's because of that that you have to find something humorous just to keep your chin up, if you like. I grew up in an atmosphere where there was a lot of humor, but it was kind of gallows humor. It was dark. And I didn't realize that my parents were funny, for example, until I was sophisticated enough to understand that there doesn't have to be laughter when people are being funny. My dad was very dry, my mom even drier, and I say I'm lucky enough still to have her.
[22:02] I'm genuinely terrified before I got on stage and I do about between 20 and 25 gigs a year in the smaller theaters around the country. That's been tremendously therapeutic for me to be able to get on stage. And I have a thousand or fifteen hundred people there and to be able to hold their attention and make them laugh for two hours.
[23:18] But Bill Russell stands out for me because of one question I asked him. You know, he’s the greatest winner in the history of American sports, 11 rings. I asked him what advice he would give to any young athlete in any sport that wanted to turn pro. And he thought for a little while and he looked at me and he said, “Be kind”. I thought it was the most beautiful answer, like most beautiful things, you know, really simple. It struck me and it stayed with me. And I think that's what's missing -- not just in America, but around the world today -- is kindness.
[24:22] When I see someone that has a problem or a perceived problem, I look at my own life and think, well, I've got that one as well. I think you just empathize with people instead of judging them. You know, being nonjudgmental is a tremendously important part of kindness. I don't think you can be kind. You know, if you're judgmental.
[24:49] Can you tell us about that, Rory McIlory at the Masters? Yes. You know, I'm so proud of that boy. Yes. You're just such a great ambassador for the game and for Northern Ireland. He's a mother's dream. He's just such a nice kid. And, you know, to have that talent and to remain as accessible and as nice as he is to absolutely everybody, he touches people. And he remains touchable himself. I was sort of devastated because he had the masters in his grasp, leading by four with nine holes to plan. He's just unrivaled under the pressure. There were a lot of the pundits said, you know, a lot could affect him for the rest of his career. And, you know, on you, who are you staying around over there and gets to define him that night? And he was sitting with two of his school friends that had been over for the tournament, drinking a coke in the corner, and they'd been throwing a ball out in the backyard or a few people were on. You know, I said to me, are you all right, son? He said, hi you know, if that was the worst day I’ll ever have, I'll be alright. I thought that was an amazingly mature thing to say for 22 year old kid that had just given away the biggest golf tournament in the world.
[27:18] The Art of Power by Jon Meacham. It's a biography of Thomas Jefferson. You know, one of the fathers of this country. And I love this country so much I couldn't even explain it to you. And Jefferson was, I think, the central figure in the founding fathers. You know, for me, just his character and the way that he dealt with power is amazing.
Thank you for joining us on HealthGig. We loved having you with us. We hope you'll tune in again next week. In the meantime, be sure to like and subscribe to this podcast, and follow us on healthgigpod.com.
“I was a hopelessly attention deficit child. And the only thing that I could do were the things that interested me. And those were English and music.” - David Feherty
“Successful people, they want to be in a place where they know they're going to be uncomfortable.” - David Feherty
“My father was you know, he was an alcoholic. I would warn my children. I think it's very important for any addict or alcoholic to make their children aware that they're predisposed to this. They're more likely to fall into that same way of life.” - David Feherty
“It's therapeutic to me, the feeling that, you know, if I say something about it or if I mention these problems, that it might help someone else.” - David Feherty
“Because as soon as you have a drink, one is too many and 30 isn't enough. That's the nature of addiction.” - David Feherty
“When I see someone that has a problem or a perceived problem, I look at my own life and think, well, I've got that one as well. I think you just empathize with people instead of judging them. You know, being nonjudgmental is a tremendously important part of kindness. I don't think you can be kind, if you're judgmental.” - David Feherty
Keywords
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