Mindfulness with Family
Using Mindfulness can bring a sense of peace to our life, especially for getting through difficult or stressful situations. One of the most important parts of our life is our interactions with our families and loved ones. Too often those closest to us, experience our worst moods. When we are comfortable with someone we may be tempted to ‘let down’ with them. This is a natural tendency but our family deserves our best self and we are going to look at some ways to accomplish just that.
Experts on Mindfulness
We can’t wait for you to hear the incredible Mindfulness expert Clif Smith at our upcoming Achieving Optimal Health Conference. Get registered HERE if you are not already. But for now, please visit these 2 podcasts where we interview experts who have given some incredible insights on being more aware of our emotions- Dr. Mitra Ray, and more aware of what we are teaching our children- Dr. Bobbi Wegner.
Practice the Pause
One of our favorite, and one of the easiest tools to implement is to “practice the pause”. When you are feeling yourself getting irritated, anxious, or angry- attempt to pause and not say or do anything- at least for a minute. This allows some of the emotion to dissipate so that you can respond, rather than react.
STAR
Similarly you can use the acronym S.T.A.R. as a reminder Stop, Think, Accept, Respond. Similar to practicing the pause STAR reminds us to slow down. Stopping to pause will eliminate a significant portion of the things we might regret because they were said or done without thinking.
Apologize
Another tool that’s always available is the apology. Parents can and should apologize to children when appropriate. If we’ve used a grouchy tone when it really wasn’t needed, or been short simply because we are tired, it’s healthy to tell a family member, even a child, that we are sorry and give a brief explanation. It takes some humility to apologize and it also models healthy behavior for the child. Apologies don’t undo the action, but they do show some sense of acknowledgement and accountability.
New Moment
One more tool we love to use at home is the “new moment”. This is something we have established and use pretty regularly after an apology or difficult conversation. Once the issue or disagreement has been addressed, you can ask the other person if they are ready for a new moment, which means: ‘Can we move on and not drag the problem into the next activity?’ Sometimes just by saying these words aloud, it allows us to mentally switch gears and move on. It works really well, but only if you have really resolved the conversation. If not, the answer might be: ‘No I don’t feel heard and I’m not ready yet.” Which brings us to our last tool for this blog: taking space.
Taking Space
Sometimes if we are feeling overstimulated and grouchy, we might need to take a moment of quite or solitude. Going for a walk, or just taking a little time to cool off are normal healthy ways to keep a difficult situation from getting messy.
We hope you’ve found some support in these tools. Remember growth takes time, and we can be gentle with ourselves on this journey.