Ep. 60: Dan Nevins - Can Three Yoga Lessons Change Your Life Forever?
American veteran and highly decorated soldier Dan Nevins is a professional speaker who for over a decade has shared an inspirational message of leadership, perseverance, resilience and overcoming adversity with audiences around the globe. His work with professional and business communities enables his passion of sharing and teaching yoga to the world.
At one time Dan was horrified to think that he would ever become a Yoga teacher, because the image he had of Yoga didn’t fit at all with the image he had for himself. After having a life changing experience his third time on the mat, he began to realize that yoga and mindfulness meditation help people powerfully return to their bodies and heal themselves definitively from the inside out. He says that many people get disconnected from their body. Yoga helps change the chemicals in the body and reconnect people with their personal power and each other.
Dan explains that for him Yoga is a petri dish for his life, teaching him how to slow down, connect, belong and push through all of his limitations. Now, he lives in creation of his life moment to moment rather than in reaction to his life.
Ironically self love has a boomerang effect. Dan explains, “What happens if I'm kind to myself? I can actually demonstrate kindness for others much more easily. And what happens when I feel compassion for myself? Then I can find compassion for other people that I might not see eye to eye with.”
Listen in to this powerful interview about how Yoga can transform our lives.
More From DAN NEVINS
Official Website: www.dannevins.com
Linkedin @dannevins
Twitter @dannevins
Facebook @WarriorSpiritRetreat @thedannevins
YouTube @WoundedWarriorProject
Instagram @dannevins @warriorspiritretreat
BOOKS MENTIONED IN THE PODCAST
Being of Power: The 9 Practices to Ignite an Empowered Life Hardcover by Baron Baptiste
The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom by Don Miguel Ruiz
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Show Notes
[04:16] In that moment, I sort of knew I was going to die. I knew that it was way too much blood. I knew that everyone was busy making the perimeter safe, doing what they were supposed to do. And in those moments I sort of gave up. I was saying goodbye to my wife and my 10 year old daughter, and they say, you know, when you're about to die, your life forces before your eyes. That wasn’t really my experience. My experience was like watching a slideshow of all the things I've left undone. I really couldn't even point a finger name what they were. But I remember the very last one. It was my 10 year old daughter, but she was all grown up, dressed in white and walking down the aisle without her dad. And in that moment, I just sat up and I just said I had to do something. And I reached my hand into the wound and attempts to find the artery and stop the bleeding.
[07:04] I get to define what the rest of my life is like.
[07:06] At the end of it all, it was pretty horrific experience and a long time in the hospital, and a lot of pain, and I wouldn't trade a single moment of it because what I learned through enduring all that going through that is a lot more powerful than the cost. I'm actually grateful.
[09:19] I look at it now and sort of wish I had the tools that I have now of yoga, mindfulness meditation. I'd probably still be married. It happens so often, so much divorce and broken marriages as a result of combat because it changes people. It changes the way people see, the way people think. We all know about with post-traumatic stress as it changes the way the brain operates. And so I say now that my marriage was a casualty of connection -- the ability to actually communicate, the ability to see through all of the differences.
[11:22] There are different categories for the invisible wounds of war, depression and anxiety based on sights and sounds that your brain identifies as something to look out for, that your brain identifies as danger, but it's actually not. Once upon a time in a combat environment, that open door behind you was dangerous. And now in real life, the open door behind you is not dangerous.but your brain still proceed with that way. So the invisible wounds manifest in that hyper vigilance, anxiety and depression getting lost in the thoughts of people you've lost. Things you've seen. Things you've done.
[12:02] And then there's also the component of just not being able to slow down enough to connect with the people around you to like live a life that's powerful and meaningful from a place of peace.
[12:17] That's my commitment, is to help other veterans and warriors see that that actually is a problem, because most say, yeah, these are my experiences. I've been taught to suck it up and drive on. I got to draw the line. And so I'm trying to help them realize that that actually isn't serving them anymore. And I've had some really great success in using yoga, mindfulness meditation to help people see for themselves and heal themselves from the inside out.
[12:54] I credit the Wounded Warrior Project. for helping me see things in a more positive way.
[14:24] It was at a point in my life five years ago when I found yoga and my older daughter, the 10 year old when I got her, was now 18 and in the army herself. And I my wife and I were divorced and I was co parenting a 3 year old, which I couldn't even watch her because I was hopping around on one prosthetic leg and I couldn't chase a three year old around. And I had all that time at home alone and then had to take leave from work. So I couldn't e-mail my team. I couldn't do all the things that I did and it got bad. And I finally told someone that I needed help and spilled my guts about everything that was happening and how I couldn't sleep at night. And then if I did fall asleep, I'd wake up with nightmares and then I'd take a handful of Benadryl with a shot of whiskey hoping I wouldn't wake up the next morning.
[16:00] She convinced me to try meditation again. I tried and failed before, and she taught me how to sit in meditation. I got real benefits from that. And then when I called her to say thank you. She said, I think you owe me some yoga. And I was resistant and I didn't want to do it. And I'm so, so glad that I did, because those three private lessons on a yoga mat changed my whole life and taught me the tools not to cope with the invisible wounds of war, but to heal from them. And I can't imagine a life where I don't have a tool that I have now.
[16:50] When I first started practicing, I was already mad because I had agreed to practice yoga.
[18:10] And then after my first lesson, I was done like I was like, OK, I tried yoga. It didn't work. I'm out. Nice try. But then I realized when she had called the schedule the second lesson and I was about to tell her exactly where to put that next lesson. I said, you know, I realized that I committed to three and a commitment is a commitment just period. So I showed up and it was the same thing again, the same frustration. She's still saying root down to rise up. And I still don't know what that means. And so agitated I said, can I try this my legs off? And she was a newer yoga teacher. So her eyes were saying, no, because then what am I supposed to tell you to do with your feet or your body? But her mouth said, “Yes”. And then I just remember I threw my legs off to the side, and she was actually behind me looking at me. So she only see and I'm sure she was probably wondering what I'm going to tell them to do with his feet or his body. She was figuring it out. But I'm just an all or nothing. Just do it anyway, guy. So I was like, OK, I'm going to try to focus on what's right. The Warrior One. And in that moment, I was like spreading my knees on my mat. And I was like, OK, I'm going to do this. I'm actually going to do it. She keeps saying to me, root down to rise up. What does that mean? And then I remember just imagining roots growing out of my legs against the ground, like, okay, I'm really visualizing the rooting down and then rising up with my hands over my head like the Warrior One Pose goes. In that moment, everything changed because I had an actual physical experience with the planet like the earth sent a jolt of energy up and into my body and it lifted me up from the inside out. And my arms flew over my head and tears just fell out of my eyes, and it was this powerful sense of energy and connection and belonging.
[21:20] But in that moment, that energy hit me up. I mean, I felt 20 feet tall and I felt so alive in that moment. I was like, holy smokes. Like, this is real. There's something to this. It was like the earth was saying, Dan, where have you been for the last 10 years? And that reconnection basic level to the planet ultimately inspired me to reintegrate connection in my life and all my relationships. That was a new starting point for me.
[22:10] By my third lesson, I was signed up for yoga teacher training.
[23:34] She stood up to share her story - and I completely judgmentally said, what's the worst thing that happened to her? Did she spill her latte in her Range Rover on the way to yoga practice? That's what I said to myself. And she gets on the microphone and started the shared experience about her childhood that was so horrible that I instantly felt like the biggest jerk on the planet for judging her. And then I realized, too, at that moment, I'm like, I wouldn't trade the things that I've endured for what she had to go through. And then I just became at that moment, not the wounded warrior in the class. I became just another human being. And I realize that we all live with the invisible wounds of some war. It doesn't have to be combat. And so that sort of got me out of this notion, an idea that veterans were different than other people. No, we're actually all the same. Our experiences are different and we're all up against the same struggles and the same hardships. And by the way, no matter what the trauma is, the brain works the same way. And so these tools of yoga, mindfulness meditation, work, no matter what the source.
[25:08] Dan, you look different, you look lighter. And he said, is that the yoga?
[26:02] Hey, is everything OK? Which is something that a lot of people want to ask people and they don't. And that's actually one of the most powerful things you can ask someone. I said, is everything OK? And he looked at me and said, no, it's not OK. Two days ago, my my wife found me in my closet with a gun in my mouth. And I was a second away from pulling the trigger when she opened the door and my little girl was there. And he just looked at me and said, I just don't know what to do. And the only thing I could get out of my mouth was you need some yoga in your life.
[28:32] It's still strange for me to say that, hey, I'm a yoga teacher, but it's actually the most important work I've ever done. And I say that as a combat veteran who led warriors in battle. I say it as a dad and a grandfather. And they say that it's just a human being who's had a lot of jobs with a lot of nice title and paychecks and all those things that this work is the work of teaching people these tools is for sure the most important work I've ever been a part of. And it's what I'm supposed to do. And that means it took me losing my legs to figure that out and living with it brain injury every day, which gets better and better each moment. So grateful for that. And if that's what it took then that's what that means, then I'd happily do it all over again to get to the point that I am right now.
[29:22] So what is it about yoga and meditation that has such a powerfully healing effect on veterans? And what would you say yoga and meditation gives veterans and other people that, for example, therapy doesn't?
[30:21] We get disconnected from our body. You know, when we take it to the opposite end of the screen, towards the more severe side, our body actually is in a safe place to be. And so substance abuse happens, alcohol, drugs, you name it, bad choices -- all of it lives inside of that unresolved trauma. When we take the moment and the time to put our body back into true arc alignment, to really integrate our body bones and our muscles, it actually reverses the stress response. When we get stressed out, the amygdala starts producing cortisol and other stress hormones and then it starts to create a physical profile for our body. It's shuts down our breathing, it collapses our shoulders or expands tension in our jaw, shoulders or hips -the primary three, when you actually override that, reversing the process, like, no, I'm going to undo the stress reaction in by pulling my shoulders back and down. I'm going to take deep, full breath instead of these that kind of fight or flight panic mode, shallow breaths. When you do that, it actually turns off that process in the amygdala. It actually shuts down the stress response so that right away is an immediate victory for why it works. But then moving your body, it's creating endorphins and like positive stress hormones. So it's actually creating a situation inside your body chemically that makes you feel better.
[32:21] OK, I want to quit. I want to quit. I want to quit. And then the way I start talking to myself, the way I catch myself wanting to give up, and then I turn on like, well, what happens if I stay in the pose? That's when something happens and I can free up something absolutely awesome or soften and then create this beautiful expression of pose that I don't think I do how to do. And then it's sort of like it all makes sense. And so my yoga mat for me is a petri dish of my whole entire life on what happens when I talk to myself about myself in this way. When I actually start to believe that I can't versus what happens if I believe that I can. And so we have all these breakthroughs on my mat and then my yoga practice and my physical body, which also helps me see where those same sorts of breakthroughs and victories are in my whole life and what I think I can't do because I was not good enough for that, I'm not educated enough or not smart enough or I don't know the right people or I don't have enough time and all of those things. And then I start to see the way I think about things. And so for me, the yoga practice, direct translation to taking the tools that I learned there and applying them to my life to really start to create my best life possible. And I fail more often than I succeed. But the tools that I have on my meditation practice and yoga practice is the awareness of what happens. So I still live in creation of my life moment to moment versus in reaction to my life.
[34:46] There's so much more. I get interviewed. And that's what I really want to share with people is to realize that when things happen to us, whether it's a physical loss, an emotional loss, it changed body, it changed way of being deep hurt that we're actually still alive and still here on this planet for a reason,there’s still something for us to contribute to each other. We spend so much time focusing on the ways that we're different than each other. I'm not a political person, but I see it around election time. Everyone is like talking everyone down. And the reality is, if we just took time and some breaths to realize how we're the same more than we are different.
[36:13] Now what am I going to do? I'd say that that's an opportunity. It's an opportunity to really look and listen to your heart. What is it you actually want to do with your life?
[37:34] I'd be lying if I said it's easy to be kind to myself. And I still fail often, probably more than I succeed. But then there's always thawareness. OK, I'm not talking to myself in that way right now, is that actually going to make me a better or make it worse?
[37:57] Living my life, I have opportunities for kindness to myself. I have opportunities to give myself a break and to show some compassion about where I am versus where I could be. And those moments, it's what keeps me on this path of discovery and healing. So then what happens if I'm kind to myself? I can actually demonstrate kindness for others much more easily. And what happens when I feel compassion for myself? Then I can find compassion for other people that I might not see eye to eye with.
Thank you for joining us on HealthGig. We loved having you with us. We hope you'll tune in again next week. In the meantime, be sure to like and subscribe to this podcast, and follow us on healthgigpod.com.
“And so I say now that my marriage was a casualty of connection -- the ability to actually communicate, the ability to see through all of the differences.” - Dan Nevins
There's also the component of just not being able to slow down enough to connect with the people around you -- to live a life that's powerful and meaningful from a place of peace.” - Dan Nevins
“I've had some really great success in using yoga, mindfulness meditation to help people see for themselves and heal themselves from the inside out.” - Dan Nevins
“Those three private lessons on a yoga mat changed my whole life and taught me the tools not to cope with the invisible wounds of war, but to heal from them.” - Dan Nevins
“In that moment, everything changed because I had an actual physical experience with the planet like the earth sent a jolt of energy up and into my body and it lifted me up from the inside out. And my arms flew over my head and tears just fell out of my eyes, and it was this powerful sense of energy and connection and belonging.” - Dan Nevins
“It's still strange for me to say that, hey, I'm a yoga teacher, but it's actually the most important work I've ever done.” - Dan Nevins
“We get disconnected from our body.” - Dan Nevins
“When we take the moment and the time to put our body back into true arc alignment, to really integrate our body bones and our muscles, it actually reverses the stress response.” - Dan Nevins
“My yoga mat for me is a petri dish of my whole entire life on what happens when I talk to myself about myself in this way. When I actually start to believe that I can't versus what happens if I believe that I can.” - Dan Nevins
“I still live in creation of my life moment to moment versus in reaction to my life.” - Dan Nevins
“Living my life, I have opportunities for kindness to myself. I have opportunities to give myself a break and to show some compassion about where I am versus where I could be. And those moments, it's what keeps me on this path of discovery and healing. So then what happens if I'm kind to myself? I can actually demonstrate kindness for others much more easily. And what happens when I feel compassion for myself? Then I can find compassion for other people that I might not see eye to eye with.” - Dan Nevins
Keywords
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